Who is real guru!!! Student or Guru????

Who is real guru!!! Student or Guru????

one night 4 mba students were boozing till late night and didn't study for the test which was scheduled for the next day. in the morning they thought of a plan. they made themselves look as dirty and weird as they could with grease and dirt. they then went up to the dean and said that they had gone out to a wedding last night and on their return the tyre of their car burst and they had to push the car all the way back and that they were in no condition to appear for the test. so the dean said they can have the retest after 3 days.they said they will be ready by that time. on the third day they appeared before the dean.the dean said that this was a special condition te st. all four were required to sit in separate classrooms for the test. they all agreed as they had prepared well in the last three days. the test consisted of 2 questions with tot al of 100 marks.

Q .1. YOUR NAME .........................( 2 MARKS )
Q.2. WHICH TYRE BURST ...............( 98 MARKS ).

• Front Left
• Front Right
• Back Left
• Back Right ....!!!

MANAGEMENT COURSE

Lesson One
An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing. A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, "Can I also sit like youand do nothing?" The eagle answered: "Sure, why not." So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
Management Lesson - To be sitting and doing nothing, you must besitting very, very high up.

Lesson Two
A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get tothe top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got theenergy." "Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied thebull. "They're packed with nutrients." The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave himenough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day,after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally aftera fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree. He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.
Management Lesson - Bull shit might get you to the top, but it won'tkeep you there.

Lesson Three
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold, thebird froze and fell to the ground into a large field. While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him.As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began torealise how warm he was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay thereall warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate.Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung,and promptly dug him out and ate him.
Management Lesson -
(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.
(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
(3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep your mouth shut!

This ends your two minute management course.

Intel-joke- A good one

There was a gentleman walking with two heavy suitcases in an airport terminal. Someone approached and asked him what time it was. The gentleman bends down to park the two heavy suitcases and stares at his watch. But this was no ordinary watch! He touches a tiny button and his administrative assistant's face appears. He asks her, "Mary, what time is it?" Mary answers instantly and with a smile!

The questioner is thoroughly impressed!!!

He asks, "What kind of a watch is that?" "It's like a TV with two-way real-time communication," the gentleman explains. He adds that the watch is the latest technology with Intel's brand new 128-bit chip with processor speed of 10 Gigahertz.

The onlooker is now quite impressed and wanted to know if he could buy this watch from the gentleman. They agree on a heavy price and the cash was handed immediately. The gentleman takes his watch out and hands it over and then walks away.

The new owner stares at the two heavy suitcases and shouts, "Sir, you forgot your suitcases."

The gentleman stops, smiles, and replies, "No, they are yours now. They are the modems you always need to carry for your new watch.